Submission, and other Random Ramblings

This past weekend has quite possibly been the worst ive had in a long time. Its 4 am right now on monday morning. Let me begin by listing the positives as they stand right now.

• I just completed my project. Woohoo
• I am awake (am I?)
• I am alive (I think I am)

And on the flipside of the coin, (shouldnt both sides be of the same size?)

• I dont know if the damn project works
• I am in an underground dungeon
  
• The damn policeman better catch the thief (otherwise my world is gonna be crime-infested)
• My project partner in all likelihood is freaking out right now
• I must have wakened the ghosts in soda
• My diet of the last 10 hours consists of a power bar (stolen from ernest's bag when he was sleeping, hmm... il buy him another.... i thought it might help keep me awake)
• One nodoz pill courtesy of jaime
• One can of monster regular
• One can of monster assault
• Some pringles
• I just got electrocuted when i plugged my notebook power into the lab switchboard
• The milk I drank yesterday was expired i think

I am mildly delirious now I think. I still have so much shit due this week, and an econ midterm on thursday. I havent blogged in a while because I kinda got bored of it. Yet somehow, whenever deadlines are approaching I get this avalanche of bloggable thoughts and feelings that I somehow dont feel I can replicate at a later time.

I think I have changed immensely over the last two years. Something in me has died; a flame has been extinguished (smothered?). I first realised this over summer i think, but I was too caught up just trying to combat the weirdness to actually think rationally about it. I am just starting to think it through now... Some of it I like, some I dont.

Manchester United just beat Chelsea 1-0 this morning. Glory Glory Man United!! Inida lost to Sri Lanka but a decent performance nonetheless. Sigh... Cal Football... Bears lost to Ducks.... An okay week on that front.

So many people Ive been talking to over the last couple of months (more perhaps), have espoused at great length that their experience todate of college life in US has been unsatisfactory, falling shy of their expectations particularly in the manner of their social interactions. Initially this surprised me, since I had such a wonderful time when I first came here, but gradually it occured to me how fortunate I have been i that sense, and I cultivated a greater appreciation for my floormates from my freshman year. They put up with all my crazy questions like why no team was fielding two quarterbacks at once and why pitchers dont just hit batters more often; and less crazy but more pointed ones regarding various aspects of life here that were so foreign to me having come from Singapore. Haha... I have been labeled hardline conservative and racist, also crazy and dictatorial. And there were all those amusing instances of non-intersecting vocabulary sets. Haha... last week I asked Andrew for a torch so I could read the switch markings on the ELCB when our house power got tripped. He looked at me weirdly and picked up a lighter....Wahahaha... Interpreter Ernest " Flashlight? ". I still remember way back in my first month here, I was walking to the tennis court with Steve and Ernest, and he asked me about some class I wass taking. " Its mildly taxing"... Steve " Woah, taxing, thats the first time I heard that from someone not learing SAT wordlist"...haha. And all those long discussions with Jaime about the religion, politics, history and culture. Trying to draw Adriel into some sort of contradiciton about the bible. Playing Tekken and Burnout on Patrick and Justin's PS2s. And comparing minorities with Ernest. Realising that Korean and Tamil are weirdly similar. Looking at the sunset from Michelle/Megha/Erin's room. Arguing with Megha about the stupidest stuff. Sparring with Alex. Ah... I dont suppose any of them read my blog... I can so see it ... haha Jaime "Reading blogs? Gay. Daamn Varun.... you read blogs.... waaat? ... u have a blog.... daaamn ... your gay" Ah... that reminds.... haha... the insane homophobia of my floor... its almost funny.... except a little tragic I guess... in light of my notion that one of the greates lessons I have learned here is not to judge. Anyway... I dont think any of them are likely to read this... but for what its worth... I love you guys. I may not have spent as much time with some of you as I would have liked, but you made my life here better nonetheless. Adriel, Patrick, Jaime, Ernest, Erin, Megha, Michelle, Su, Jane, Jordana, Hillary, Andew, Vivek, Chris, Sam, Alex, Ziv, Connie, the polo girls, Alex and Keiko, Steve, Salman, Tristan, Susan, Lisa, and Fannie.... there... I dont think I missed anyone. I had the most wonderful floor ever.